My present face broke many years ago.
Friday, December 16, 2011
Tuesday, November 1, 2011
Apol-ogy
"Summer vacation, you didn’t do right by me. You planned a romance that just hadn’t a chance, now we’re through. I'm back on the shelf and I'm blaming myself, but it's you. "
I’ve heard that we are given June roses for the December of our lives (extreme liberties taken with the referenced quote) - but, if you can’t even get outside to see the roses bloom, cause you’re sitting in a cubicle with poor lighting with little to no sound barriers, really the beauty of the Schizanthus pinnatus, or the radiance of the Centaurea cyanus and the intensity of the Tithoria rotundifolia, is not going to help in the winter, let alone get me through the next 90 minutes.
As I look back on my life I feel that there is someone, somewhere that owes me an apology. That’s right an apology. An apology for great summers lived with carefree abandon. Months of thoughtless bliss not marred with the black spot of production measures. Years lived with hope - buoyed up by the knowledge that there were at least 90 days of happiness to be savored.
The expectation was set, the pattern established, the freedoms enjoyed. As the responsibilities of adulthood come crashing down I am left to wonder, who is to blame! Where do I direct the rage that lies within my heart! The open road calls my name, yet I must not yield to its enticements. I am left a broken shell, yearning for the adventures of summer to fill the vacation void that gapes in my soul. Too dramatic?! Perhaps. But to convey the pain of this cubicle suburbia requires that I lay bare my misery.
I am so bored.
Summer vacation - you didn't do right by me
As they say in the song...you done me wrong.
Used to
I used to write essays when I was bored at work.
I thought they were funny, creative and informative.
I have tried to pick up my pen (aka keyboard) and find that kind of creativity again.
Its gone.
So while I look for it I am going to recycle some of my old ramblings here.
Cause I can.
I thought they were funny, creative and informative.
I have tried to pick up my pen (aka keyboard) and find that kind of creativity again.
Its gone.
So while I look for it I am going to recycle some of my old ramblings here.
Cause I can.
Wrinkled Grapes
A truer statement has never been made.
Raisins ruin everything. Eve-ry-thing.
I have horrible memories of liquid engorged raisins in the oatmeal my mother made when I was a child.
Nightmares of the tainted pumpkin bread that even laboriously picking out the raisins could not save.
A truly embarrassing and gut wrenching adult experience with Raisin Bran that I have never shared with any one.
These are but a few of the reasons why I hate raisins.
When I saw the "Raisins Ruin Everything" shirt on shirt.woot a couple of months back I knew it was time to make a statement. I had no idea that statement would be so controversial.
During a trip to the local farmers market I purchased lunch from one of the food vendors. The server who brought my food to the window handed me the food, stopped, did a double take and said,
"Really?"
I did not know what she was talking about until she followed up with,
"Do you really hate raisins?"
Me:
"Well, yeah. They are really just gross wrinkled grapes."
Server: "Ohhh, that is so sad."
She shook her head slowly and turned away with a look of puzzlement on her face.
This is but one of the strange and confusing conversations I have had as a result of my shirt. And though it may not be popular my declaration of raisin animosity will continue. People need to know.
Raisins ruin everything. Eve-ry-thing.
I have horrible memories of liquid engorged raisins in the oatmeal my mother made when I was a child.
Nightmares of the tainted pumpkin bread that even laboriously picking out the raisins could not save.
A truly embarrassing and gut wrenching adult experience with Raisin Bran that I have never shared with any one.
These are but a few of the reasons why I hate raisins.
When I saw the "Raisins Ruin Everything" shirt on shirt.woot a couple of months back I knew it was time to make a statement. I had no idea that statement would be so controversial.
During a trip to the local farmers market I purchased lunch from one of the food vendors. The server who brought my food to the window handed me the food, stopped, did a double take and said,
"Really?"
I did not know what she was talking about until she followed up with,
"Do you really hate raisins?"
Me:
"Well, yeah. They are really just gross wrinkled grapes."
Server: "Ohhh, that is so sad."
She shook her head slowly and turned away with a look of puzzlement on her face.
This is but one of the strange and confusing conversations I have had as a result of my shirt. And though it may not be popular my declaration of raisin animosity will continue. People need to know.
Archer Farms
I heart Archer Farms.
What is Archer Farms???
What is Archer Farms???
Archer Farms is the store brand of premium foods offered exclusively by the U.S. retailer Target. Archer Farms products can be found in all Target stores and many are available online at www.target.com. Many Archer Farms products, including their line of teas, are certified organic.
Yes, yes. Basically Archer Farms IS Target. I am okay with that because I also heart Target. Deeply. Passionately.
Heart it.
I knew that I was in like with Archer Farms, but my feelings were solidified when my local Target recently expanded to include a full grocery. Be still my heart.
I bought Smoked Salmon Archer Farms dip, Chicken Curry box meal and Caramel Cashew Trail mix all in one trip.
If I am being honest, it was the Caramel Cashew Trail mix that sealed the deal. A trail mix with NO RAISINS! Life is good. Life is very very good.
Yes, yes. Basically Archer Farms IS Target. I am okay with that because I also heart Target. Deeply. Passionately.
Heart it.
I knew that I was in like with Archer Farms, but my feelings were solidified when my local Target recently expanded to include a full grocery. Be still my heart.
I bought Smoked Salmon Archer Farms dip, Chicken Curry box meal and Caramel Cashew Trail mix all in one trip.
If I am being honest, it was the Caramel Cashew Trail mix that sealed the deal. A trail mix with NO RAISINS! Life is good. Life is very very good.
Saturday, October 15, 2011
Share the Road
I see bikes.
I wish there was some way I could get Haley Joel Osment to say that phrase just like he says " I see dead people" in the movie The Sixth Sense.
I live in a town where people ride bikes all over the place. I see bikes .... everywhere.
Sometimes I see bikes in places they do not belong.
This is a picture taken through the windshield of my car when I found myself behind a gaggle of cyclists. This gaggle and I traveled the same road for far longer than I would have preferred as they dawdled in the part of the road where cars drive. I conferred with Webster on this, and had expected to have my ire validated by finding that the definition of "road" only talked about cars. I found the following:
road (noun) a : an open way for vehicles, persons, and animals
Eh-hem. Well .........
My only explanation is that Webster's definition is based on the historical use of the word road and not the practical use of the word road. Persons and animals have no place on the road. There are many squirrels who have learned that lesson the hard way.
I don't hate people on bicycles. In fact, some of my closest friends ride bicycles. I may someday be one of those people on a bike near a road. I hope that I remember how to share.
I wish there was some way I could get Haley Joel Osment to say that phrase just like he says " I see dead people" in the movie The Sixth Sense.
I live in a town where people ride bikes all over the place. I see bikes .... everywhere.
Sometimes I see bikes in places they do not belong.
This is a picture taken through the windshield of my car when I found myself behind a gaggle of cyclists. This gaggle and I traveled the same road for far longer than I would have preferred as they dawdled in the part of the road where cars drive. I conferred with Webster on this, and had expected to have my ire validated by finding that the definition of "road" only talked about cars. I found the following:road (noun) a : an open way for vehicles, persons, and animals
Eh-hem. Well .........
My only explanation is that Webster's definition is based on the historical use of the word road and not the practical use of the word road. Persons and animals have no place on the road. There are many squirrels who have learned that lesson the hard way.
I don't hate people on bicycles. In fact, some of my closest friends ride bicycles. I may someday be one of those people on a bike near a road. I hope that I remember how to share.
Saturday, September 10, 2011
Showering a Bride
I have one sister.
I was the host for her bridal shower, and while it was fun there is only one other person on earth for who I would throw their bridal shower. I might even fight her sisters for the right to throw her shower. I fight dirty. Fair warning girls.I had called my sister and asked if she had considered a Cupcake Wars themed shower and asked who was in charge of it. Her response? Sounds like a great theme that you are in charge of.
Off I went. I am a fiend with a theme.
The challenge was to made 12 cupcakes to share that incorporated her wedding colors in the taste or in the decorations. I blogged previously about my test recipes. Both my sister and I took the recipe testing very seriously. I have learned that my sister only uses cake flour for her cupcakes because she prefers a denser cupcake. Sheesh. A monster is born.
I had tested 6 batches which included:
Key Lime, Lavender Rose, Lemon Lavender, Lavender Rose Reboot, Orange, and Butternut Squash.
Frosting recipes tested:
Classic Cream Cheese Recipe, Lavender Infused Frosting, Marscopone
Butternut Squash Cupcakes with Marscopone frosting was my recipe choice.
Food table included: Quinoa salad, turkey rolls and mozzarella tomato basil appetizer. Lime slushie drink. I loved the mozzarella dish, but sadly many of the guests do not like fresh tomato. The ribbon light from a previous post made an appearance in the decoration of the room.Side Note: Quinoa pronunciation verified below. I will do a victory lap later.
Gift table, framed art was one of the shower gifts.
Cupcake Table
Cupcake table included (from left to right):Lemon Cupcakes with Marscopone frosting decorated with a bride and groom
Assorted Cupcake Tray that held Coconut, Raspberry Lemonade, and Cream Puff Cupcakes decorated with sprinkles.
Bowl of party favors that held cupcake key toppers and assorted hand towels that looked like pastries.
Orange Cupcakes decorated with homemade candied orange
White Chocolate Cherry decorated with Maraschino cherries
You might ask: what happened to the Butternut Squash. Tragedy struck the kitchen the night before the shower. Something went horribly awry with the Butternut Squash cakes. Still haven't figured it out, but it is our suspicion that my mom needs a new stove that maintains a constant temperature. Side note: mom you also need a new dryer. The heating element is shot on yours. 1 t-shirt should not take three cycles and not be fully dry.
We played 4 shower games.
1. Memory game with pictures drawn on an apron. (thanks to our cousin who added Stewie to the art, it wouldn't have been complete without him)
2. Pin the Candle on the Cupcake
3. Spice Game
4. Cupcake Tin Toss
1. Memory game with pictures drawn on an apron. (thanks to our cousin who added Stewie to the art, it wouldn't have been complete without him)
2. Pin the Candle on the Cupcake
3. Spice Game
4. Cupcake Tin Toss
Game #2Pin the Candle on the Cupcake.
Yes, yes it says Happy Birthday. I thought about removing the word "Birthday" but eh.
Aunt J. won this game. It was hilarious.
Game #3Spice Game
Aunt J (pictured above) is a spice hound and trounced the competition.
Game #4Cupcake Tin Toss
Three varying sizes of cupcake tins were used.
Three bean bag (aka hacky sack) tosses.
Most points wins.
My sister won ... sorta', and is pictured above with her prize blanket.
The games were fun, the prizes amazing, and gifts exchanged. But the cupcakes were the stars. We spent a great deal of time talking about our recipes and the trial and errors of our baking.
The Cupcake War Prizes went to the following:
Best Tasting: Aunt J's store bought coconut cupcake (the vote was unanimous)
Best Decorated: My sister's White Chocolate Cherry cupcake
Fan Favorite: My sister's friend with the Orange cupcake
In packing up we chatted about a Cupcake War Tournament to be held with our friends in the different cities we all live in. Local brackets that lead up to a national tourney of recipe winners around Christmas time. It could work! But we need to find a bigger taster pool or my sister won't be able to fit into her wedding dress!
Rinse and Repeat
Again.
I have a long term memory problem with my hair. I like my hair short, but continually forget this and decide to let my hair grow out. Become frustrated with my hair mop and decided to chop it all off. Joy floods through my body at my new short hair cut. Then I rinse and repeat this cycle. I am at the joy part of the hair cycle right now having just cut it all off again. I also had feathers put in it this time. Love them. I do think they are more business appropriate than the business appropriate faux hawk haircut I tried to convince a stylist to give me a couple years back. (Though I hold out hope that there is such a thing).
I have a long term memory problem with my hair. I like my hair short, but continually forget this and decide to let my hair grow out. Become frustrated with my hair mop and decided to chop it all off. Joy floods through my body at my new short hair cut. Then I rinse and repeat this cycle. I am at the joy part of the hair cycle right now having just cut it all off again. I also had feathers put in it this time. Love them. I do think they are more business appropriate than the business appropriate faux hawk haircut I tried to convince a stylist to give me a couple years back. (Though I hold out hope that there is such a thing).
Hard to tell from this picture but there are two feather extensions.Inspiration
I saw the picture above on Pinterest. I thought it looked amazing, and decided to try making a version for my sister's bridal shower. The very detailed instructions on the picture said only "cut some ribbon and tie it on a string of lights".As with many of the projects I start I quickly discovered I had underestimated the amount of supplies needed and the time needed to complete the project. With more than one trip back to the store for more ribbon, and three days of tying ribbons I completed the project below. I will do this again. Being more prepared I will be looking for bargain ribbon prices and may do some online searching for deals. I think it might also work with fabric strips as well. Lots of possibilities.
Supplies:
1 strand indoor clear lights (might be fun with colored lights)
Total length: 11.5 ft
between 8-12 spools of ribbon
(the spools differed in length, most were either 3 yards or 7 yards)
Steps:
Buy light and ribbon
Cut ribbon into 9 inch strips
Tie individual ribbon on the light strand
Hold up light and mutter at how you though you were over half way finished three hours ago (repeat until finished)
Lesson Learned:
Based on the amount of ribbon on certain spools I think that between 14-20 yards of ribbon per spool will get the best results. I had one spool of 20 yard ribbon that still has some ribbon left. All of the others required additional spools.
Fin.
Sunday, August 28, 2011
The Story of My Life
I am picky. Or says my mother. What can I say? I know what I like when I like it. I know it when I don't. Though this is often a double-edged sword. The good? I really like the items I find. The bad? More often than not the things I want are beyond my reach.
Example: after searching for years for a bedroom set I found the one I wanted. New World Concepts Dakota series. Just needed to save the money. Fast forward to the day when I could afford the bedroom set. It is no longer made. Story of my life.
Example: after searching for all kinds of great bridal shower gifts I find some on Amazon.uk. Put them in the basket and .... they don't ship those types of items internationally. Story of my life.
Example: after searching for wall art that I am willing to look at more than once I find some on a UK shop website. Put them in the basket and .... they don't ship those types of items internationally. Story of my life.
Example: after searching for just the right PowerPoint graphic for a presentation to Senior Leadership team at the company I work for I find out that the perfect graphic can only be acquired by purchasing a graphic package. That package costs $159.00. Story of my life.
Example: dating. Story of my life. Nuff' said.
Sigh.
Example: after searching for years for a bedroom set I found the one I wanted. New World Concepts Dakota series. Just needed to save the money. Fast forward to the day when I could afford the bedroom set. It is no longer made. Story of my life.
Example: after searching for all kinds of great bridal shower gifts I find some on Amazon.uk. Put them in the basket and .... they don't ship those types of items internationally. Story of my life.
Example: after searching for wall art that I am willing to look at more than once I find some on a UK shop website. Put them in the basket and .... they don't ship those types of items internationally. Story of my life.
Example: after searching for just the right PowerPoint graphic for a presentation to Senior Leadership team at the company I work for I find out that the perfect graphic can only be acquired by purchasing a graphic package. That package costs $159.00. Story of my life.
Example: dating. Story of my life. Nuff' said.
Sigh.
Been Practicin'
My sister is getting married. As a result there is a bridal shower, and I am in charge. Really? Really.
In an effort to try something different we are doing a Cupcake Wars inspired shower. I am hoping that the people who come will have a good time. Even if there are the cheesy games that I have mocked repeatedly over the years. The prizes will be great. Well, I think they are great.
Anyways. The colors of my sister's wedding are purple and orange. Though sometimes she says plum and spice, and sometimes she says purple and apricot. Basically they are purple and orange.
The cupcake challenge for the shower is to incorporate the colors in the cupcake. Either in the decoration or in the flavoring. I've been playing around trying to find the right recipe and decorations. Which ... as I sit here typing I am questioning those efforts. I am the one buying the prizes. So I can just win one if I want. Bother.
Needless to say that I have been up to my eyeballs in recipes. I have found some fun recipes in the FIVE batches of cupcakes that have been made. I still don't have the winner yet. I have the winning frosting, but haven't found a cupcake recipe that is able to stand up to the amazing-ness of the frosting. Without giving away to many details to my bridal shower competitors, I have included some of my test batches below. I have even been piping my frosting, so watch out ladies!
In an effort to try something different we are doing a Cupcake Wars inspired shower. I am hoping that the people who come will have a good time. Even if there are the cheesy games that I have mocked repeatedly over the years. The prizes will be great. Well, I think they are great.
Anyways. The colors of my sister's wedding are purple and orange. Though sometimes she says plum and spice, and sometimes she says purple and apricot. Basically they are purple and orange.
The cupcake challenge for the shower is to incorporate the colors in the cupcake. Either in the decoration or in the flavoring. I've been playing around trying to find the right recipe and decorations. Which ... as I sit here typing I am questioning those efforts. I am the one buying the prizes. So I can just win one if I want. Bother.
Needless to say that I have been up to my eyeballs in recipes. I have found some fun recipes in the FIVE batches of cupcakes that have been made. I still don't have the winner yet. I have the winning frosting, but haven't found a cupcake recipe that is able to stand up to the amazing-ness of the frosting. Without giving away to many details to my bridal shower competitors, I have included some of my test batches below. I have even been piping my frosting, so watch out ladies!
Batch #3 - piping technique is definitely improving
Hard to see the color of the frosting - it is pink.
hmmmm .... what could that repesent?
Batch #4 - even better
Close-up of Batch #4 - Impressive.
Batch #5 - unadorned cake waiting for the magic.
My co-workers have been the recipients of Batch #2 (batch #1 met a sudden trash can demise). Tomorrow they will be the winners of Batches 3-5.
Hoping for no cupcake fatigue from my tasters!
Storage and Beyond
Once upon a time I lived in a spacious home with oodles of storage and closets galore. Then I moved. The end.
Well not quite. Having significantly downsized the square footage of my dwelling space I have been trying to be creative with storage. AKA living like I did when I was in college. (highlight of storage in college was the makeshift closet that hung in a corner my bedroom. It was made through use of a dowel rod, s-hooks and chain. It lasted the whole year. I wish I had a picture of that thing.)
I set up some storage in my new bathroom, but had become unsatisfied with my clutter on the bathroom counter. So I set out to create something useable and spiffy all in one.
Here is my easy-peasy tutorial for making a fun storage.
Need:
Shelving (I got mine from Target)
Wall decals (I got mine from Target)
Fingers (I got mine from God)
Create:
Peel off the decals (with fingers referenced above) and place on the shelving.
Done and Done. While I don't love some of the hearts that were part of the decal pack, I loved the flowers, and am very happy with the results!
Shelving and decal page (see bottom left of photon above)
Reveal #1
Reveal #2
Reveal #3
I was at a fabric and craft store yesterday and saw other decal packs that had me swooning. I do love me some stickers , and wish I had more surface space to cover! ... Tastefully, of course!
(sticker examples: computer decal, storage decal, stickers collected from the vending machines in Houston)
Sunday, May 29, 2011
Old Things are Old Again
I have been on the look out for a corner cabinet for some time now. I found one for $40.00 at an antique shop in Centralia, WA. Turns out Centralia is an antique mecca. I had also seen a fun scrap wood wall paper featured on a number of websites. I purchased the wallpaper from the retailer's online site on a Monday. It was shipped from the Netherlands on Wednesday. I had it in my hand on Friday. UPS you are amazing. Granted there is a significant time difference, because really my Monday order actually got shipped on my Tuesday and got to me by the retailers Saturday. You really can go back in time!
Whatever laws of time and space were bent to get my package to me, I am grateful. It meant that I had a project this weekend!
The cabinet before the magic began.
Cabinet hosed down with Citristrip paint remover. Great product I found at Home Depot.
Cabinet door that got the "orange" treatment. In hindsight I think I could have skipped this step and gone straight to sanding the surfacing with my orbital sander. However, I am nothing if not thorough. And/or prone to overkill when tackling projects I have not attempted before.
I stripped the paint, sanded the surface and then used mod-podge to attach the wallpaper. I really was working hard to try and get the vertical planks to at least kind of line up with each other.
One of the cabinet doors. Can you see the toothpicks I used to try and make sure I knew where the hardware screws needed to go?
After attaching the wall paper, I used a clear matte spray polyurethane to seal the edges. (well, that's what I hope I did anyway) Reattached the hardware and BAM. This cabinet officially got kicked up a notch.
While nobody is supposed to put baby in a corner, the corner cabinet looks right at home! Ignore the strange light reflecting off the tv screen. It is not the flash from my camera, but the cabinet basking in its moment in the sun!
Whatever laws of time and space were bent to get my package to me, I am grateful. It meant that I had a project this weekend!
The cabinet before the magic began.
Cabinet hosed down with Citristrip paint remover. Great product I found at Home Depot.
Cabinet door that got the "orange" treatment. In hindsight I think I could have skipped this step and gone straight to sanding the surfacing with my orbital sander. However, I am nothing if not thorough. And/or prone to overkill when tackling projects I have not attempted before.
I stripped the paint, sanded the surface and then used mod-podge to attach the wallpaper. I really was working hard to try and get the vertical planks to at least kind of line up with each other.
One of the cabinet doors. Can you see the toothpicks I used to try and make sure I knew where the hardware screws needed to go?
After attaching the wall paper, I used a clear matte spray polyurethane to seal the edges. (well, that's what I hope I did anyway) Reattached the hardware and BAM. This cabinet officially got kicked up a notch.
While nobody is supposed to put baby in a corner, the corner cabinet looks right at home! Ignore the strange light reflecting off the tv screen. It is not the flash from my camera, but the cabinet basking in its moment in the sun!
Buy or Build
The longer i looked at clip art with the word "buy" in it the weirder that word became. What happens
I love black cherry kool-aid. Some people know how to make it juuust right. Some people don't. I can honestly say I don't understand why kool-aid makes any other flavors. Black Cherry Kool-Aid. Perfection. Stop there.
Being that I do know how to make black cherry kool-aid juuust right, I whipped myself up a batch a couple months ago. The key here is the time line. I enjoyed my awesomeness in a cup a number of times. Then forgot I had it in the fridge. What happens when kool-aid gets left in the fridge too long unattended? It crystallizes.
I took photo evidence of this miracle of science (I think that makes it sound intended, less accidental). The first picture creep-ed me out a bit. It reminded me of a weird glowing red eye. Or some kind of galactic phenomenon.
I have learned that black cherry kool-aid is a love that doesn't like to be left on the shelf.
Being that I do know how to make black cherry kool-aid juuust right, I whipped myself up a batch a couple months ago. The key here is the time line. I enjoyed my awesomeness in a cup a number of times. Then forgot I had it in the fridge. What happens when kool-aid gets left in the fridge too long unattended? It crystallizes.
I took photo evidence of this miracle of science (I think that makes it sound intended, less accidental). The first picture creep-ed me out a bit. It reminded me of a weird glowing red eye. Or some kind of galactic phenomenon.
I have learned that black cherry kool-aid is a love that doesn't like to be left on the shelf.
Its the Most Wonderful time of the Year
It the most wonderful time of the year! No, no, its not Christmas in May. Its berry season! Annnnnnnd that means ....... Berry Chantilly Cake is back in stores near you! Well, maybe not near you. But near me, in select stores (Whole Foods) ..... sometimes. I Heart Berry Chantilly Cake. Nothing like it on the planet. I've tried to make it myself and failed. My friend Jill made it for me one year for my birthday. Success. Jill has mad skills like that.
Sigh. What a wonderful world.
Sigh. What a wonderful world.
Sunday, May 22, 2011
Buy or Build
I have been mentally planning a home project in which I was/am going to build a reclaimed wood headboard. Found these art pieces at a great store yesterday. Its a new favorite called
Moe's Home Collection (showrooms near me in both Seattle and Federal Way).
The dilemma then became ....
to build or to buy.
What did I decide? Que the the cliffhanger!
Stay tuned for a future blog episode in which the stunning choice will be revealed!
Moe's Home Collection (showrooms near me in both Seattle and Federal Way).
The dilemma then became ....
to build or to buy.
What did I decide? Que the the cliffhanger!
Stay tuned for a future blog episode in which the stunning choice will be revealed!
http://www.moeshome.com/
Guilty as Charged
I now travel regularly on work related assignments. As a result I have started to develop a very specific opinion on what I think are quality hotel accommodations. In other words I am becoming a hotel snob. On a recent trip I returned home and upon emptying my suitcase came across a random washcloth. I did not intentionally take it from the hotel. I SWEAR! I didn't know what I should do with the little washcloth, so I kept it. It haunts me daily.
On a separate trip for personal travel I stayed at a hotel that had the following in the bathroom.
On a separate trip for personal travel I stayed at a hotel that had the following in the bathroom.
" Due to the popularity of our guest room amenities our Housekeeping Department now offers these items for sale." ..."Each guest room attendant is responsible for maintaining the guest room items. Should you decide to take these articles from your room instead of obtaining them from the Executive Housekeeper, we will assume you approve a corresponding charge to your account.
Thank You.
Translation: Don't steal our stuff.
I laughed out loud. It was a very nice hotel, and it was a pleasant stay. I did not take any of the amenities with me. I think the hotel has every right to charge me for any amenities I take that do not come with the price of my room. They just said it so nicely!
Tuesday, May 17, 2011
Welcome Back Bacon
I may be late to the party, and others may have toasted louder, but I'd like to take a moment to celebrate the return of bacon in all its many forms. As a result of the bacon resurgence there is a wealth of information that could be provided and links that could be referenced. Of all the products out there I have personally purchased, or received, the following as gifts.
1 - bacon flavored lip balm
2 - bacon flavored popcorn
3 - Bacon Explosion, the grand-daddy of all bacon.
4 - 365 days of bacon insights and quotes courtesy of the Bacon desk calendar
The Bacon Explosion. Ah-Ma-Zing.
http://www.bbqaddicts.com/blog/recipes/bacon-explosion
Bacon Roses
Found this one today. Holy Bacon Batman!
http://www.instructables.com/id/Bacon-Roses
In parting I leave with highlights from the Bacon Manifesto found at
http://monkeygoggles.com/?p=912
The Bacon Eater’s Manifesto
Before beginning, we must acknowledge bacon as the most perfect food that has ever or will ever exist. It is the food which holds the perfect balance of fat and salt. The crispiness to withstand even the moistest sandwich and the heartiness to make even a salad edible. We sing the praises of bacon. We dance in its honor. We close our eyes and inhale deeply allowing its scent to enter our bodies and fill us with happiness as if we were human balloons and the bacon is God’s breath.
Bacon is also the universal food, for it is not elitist fancy-pants eating. It is enjoyed by everyone from the lowliest hobo to the wealthiest Wall Street tycoon. Even Mr. Rockefeller himself is known to partake in bacon during breaks from counting his large stacks of money. It is the chosen last meal of death row inmates and the first thing men ask for after being rescued from desert islands. After all, if you were stranded on an island, would you rather have a beautiful woman or endless bacon? The choice is clear.
We suggest renaming the pig to something more descriptive of its purpose. This animal should be renamed “living bacon” or “bacon with legs” so as not to hide that inner beauty it holds. The swine lives in filth, but just as plants grow from manure, so does the seed of bacon take hold in the swill of mud and garbage and grow into the redwood of meats. Bacon.
Now that we have paid proper homage to bacon, we name ourselves as eaters of bacon and set forth our purpose and pathway. These are the truths we live by and hold sacred.
1. There is nothing that cannot be improved by the addition of bacon.
Some might hold out sweets as being spoiled by adding bacon or a gourmet chef might say that the balance of a dish will be upset by the addition of bacon, but we state here and now that they are wrong. There is no food, or indeed no event, that cannot be improved with the addition of bacon. A single slice of bacon can act as a magnifying glass on the smallest amount of goodness or happiness in something, and magnify it to skyscraper size.
2. Bacon may shorten your life, but what is life without bacon?
Doctors, health nuts and vegetarians are constantly whispering in our ears that bacon poses some kind of health risk. That your life would be longer without it. But, we ask, what is your life without it? It’s a cupcake without frosting. A marriage without love. A summer without a sunny day. Quality of life must be taken into consideration when choosing your food. Do not waste time with green beans and squash; fill all the empty moments with the king of meat.
3. Bacon is the best thing at a breakfast buffet.
Loading up on toast or eggs is a tragedy. For they are simply buffer foods to distract you from bacon.
4. Bacon is so delicious, some people claim it wrote the works of Shakespeare.
We have our doubts that it did. For if bacon could write, why would it write something so boring and inscrutable to the common man?
5. The greatest odor in the world is the smell of cooking bacon.
If one were to truly and dutifully bottle its essence, even a woman plain as tap water could attract a square-jawed, Hollywood dreamboat. If it were promised that heaven smelled like bacon, surely men would do no evil from that moment forward.
"To thine own bacon be true". - Me.
1 - bacon flavored lip balm
2 - bacon flavored popcorn
3 - Bacon Explosion, the grand-daddy of all bacon.
4 - 365 days of bacon insights and quotes courtesy of the Bacon desk calendar
The Bacon Explosion. Ah-Ma-Zing.
http://www.bbqaddicts.com/blog/recipes/bacon-explosion
Bacon RosesFound this one today. Holy Bacon Batman!
http://www.instructables.com/id/Bacon-Roses
In parting I leave with highlights from the Bacon Manifesto found at
http://monkeygoggles.com/?p=912
The Bacon Eater’s Manifesto
Before beginning, we must acknowledge bacon as the most perfect food that has ever or will ever exist. It is the food which holds the perfect balance of fat and salt. The crispiness to withstand even the moistest sandwich and the heartiness to make even a salad edible. We sing the praises of bacon. We dance in its honor. We close our eyes and inhale deeply allowing its scent to enter our bodies and fill us with happiness as if we were human balloons and the bacon is God’s breath.
Bacon is also the universal food, for it is not elitist fancy-pants eating. It is enjoyed by everyone from the lowliest hobo to the wealthiest Wall Street tycoon. Even Mr. Rockefeller himself is known to partake in bacon during breaks from counting his large stacks of money. It is the chosen last meal of death row inmates and the first thing men ask for after being rescued from desert islands. After all, if you were stranded on an island, would you rather have a beautiful woman or endless bacon? The choice is clear.
We suggest renaming the pig to something more descriptive of its purpose. This animal should be renamed “living bacon” or “bacon with legs” so as not to hide that inner beauty it holds. The swine lives in filth, but just as plants grow from manure, so does the seed of bacon take hold in the swill of mud and garbage and grow into the redwood of meats. Bacon.
Now that we have paid proper homage to bacon, we name ourselves as eaters of bacon and set forth our purpose and pathway. These are the truths we live by and hold sacred.
1. There is nothing that cannot be improved by the addition of bacon.
Some might hold out sweets as being spoiled by adding bacon or a gourmet chef might say that the balance of a dish will be upset by the addition of bacon, but we state here and now that they are wrong. There is no food, or indeed no event, that cannot be improved with the addition of bacon. A single slice of bacon can act as a magnifying glass on the smallest amount of goodness or happiness in something, and magnify it to skyscraper size.
2. Bacon may shorten your life, but what is life without bacon?
Doctors, health nuts and vegetarians are constantly whispering in our ears that bacon poses some kind of health risk. That your life would be longer without it. But, we ask, what is your life without it? It’s a cupcake without frosting. A marriage without love. A summer without a sunny day. Quality of life must be taken into consideration when choosing your food. Do not waste time with green beans and squash; fill all the empty moments with the king of meat.
3. Bacon is the best thing at a breakfast buffet.
Loading up on toast or eggs is a tragedy. For they are simply buffer foods to distract you from bacon.
4. Bacon is so delicious, some people claim it wrote the works of Shakespeare.
We have our doubts that it did. For if bacon could write, why would it write something so boring and inscrutable to the common man?
5. The greatest odor in the world is the smell of cooking bacon.
If one were to truly and dutifully bottle its essence, even a woman plain as tap water could attract a square-jawed, Hollywood dreamboat. If it were promised that heaven smelled like bacon, surely men would do no evil from that moment forward.
"To thine own bacon be true". - Me.
Saturday, May 7, 2011
I Cut My Finger
I cut my finger.
The grommets are finished, and I only made one significant slip with the exact-o knife. I've been sharing my projects with one of my co-workers and she has decided that the next logical step is a store called "Kurtains by Kendra".
While I have had a great time trying new ways to make curtains (the grommets were by FAR the easiest and most impressive for results) I am ready to move to new project.
Unless I find great fabric that screams "I am a curtain". Then i suppose I'll just have to make more! :)
The grommets are finished, and I only made one significant slip with the exact-o knife. I've been sharing my projects with one of my co-workers and she has decided that the next logical step is a store called "Kurtains by Kendra".
While I have had a great time trying new ways to make curtains (the grommets were by FAR the easiest and most impressive for results) I am ready to move to new project.
Unless I find great fabric that screams "I am a curtain". Then i suppose I'll just have to make more! :)
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